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The Dark Cave They Call Depression



They said I was a threat to no one but myself. I often felt lonely, nobody was around who could understand me or the situation I was going through, just a bunch of people looking at me like if I was an alien or if there was something wrong with me . I started looking it up and read on bigthink that my generation was at the highest risk of mental health issue. Problem was whatever was happening to me, I couldn’t control it.

The anxiety, stress, the continuous nagging from the people around me expecting something from me which I was unable to deliver, it was all very exhausting. It was not that I didn’t want to achieve the set bar, I was just unable to do it right, but nobody was willing to understand that. I wasn’t sick I was just exhausted and stressed out because they were unwilling to understand me.

I never liked the feeling when I don’t have control over my body or emotions that’s why I didn’t want to go to a doctor because I knew they would drug me trying to fix me and I would not be able to control myself any more, even the thought of losing self-control or not knowing what is happening with my body scared me.

But with technology I was able to monitor what was happening to me. I found a source of control in the situation of chaos. These electronic medical record software gave me hope. The doctor my family took me for therapy used an EMR software that had all of my progress and medical records and billings as well and the data was shared with me. Once I was able to put a label on exactly what was going on with my mind, I began opening up to my friends and family about how I was feeling, I knew I was going to get better now, I was all in control.
   
I battled depression and found my way through and I want people to understand that sometimes in this state the actions are controlled by illness not by the person himself. Please do not blame the sufferer. he/she needs you to understand, make him/her comfortable so that he/she could find his way out of this dark cave and you need to realize that it can happen to anyone.

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  1. vanaja22 June 2018 at 04:40

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